Be There for Yourself

The other day I was chatting with my teacher, Julie (Henderson), founder of Zapchen Somatics. Just a regular conversation about the morning, the sky, being friendly. When we were saying goodbye, she said, “Be kind to yourself.” The words were simple, relaxed, as a regular part of goodbye, like “see ya’ later.”

I chuckled when I heard this. Because my main teachers are always teaching kindness. This is the primary teaching.

I also laughed because I know how important being kind to myself is, and the long road of kindness-to-self progress I am on . (While I “know” I am not different from many in this regard, of course I often “think” I am the only person on the planet who is not fluent in kindness-to-self.)

In any case, I responded to Julie by saying, “I will try without trying.” She laughed, I am guessing, because that also is the teaching: to be kind in ways that are easy. Pushing or driving ourselves to be kind would undermine the effect.

My teachers do not teach “thinking” your way to being kind to yourself. They emphasize body-based practices that change us from the inside so our body starts to default to more ease, more balance, more flow, more cooperation, more awareness. All of these things support our capacity to be kind. Maybe they are even aspects of the state of kindness.

And this is the magic of somatic, or body-based, methods: The practices themselves are kindness. The body readily and willingly absorbs those states and changes itself in response.

After practicing Zapchen and other embodiment methods for nearly 30 years, I look back and see that I am able to be kind to myself with more ease, and more often. Even more what’s happened is that there is an inner-knowing that I can—and will—be there for myself. That I have the tools to take care of myself when things get tricky or when I get off balance.

This is what I wish for my clients: That the body-based methods I teach them cultivate confidence inside themselves, as a body. That one day something happens and they are able to ride the turbulence with more ease: a softer landing, a shorter recovery time. That these easier recoveries stack up over time. And, one day they notice that they are, in fact, there for themselves. That they have the tools.

From my heart, to yours…